“I can't stand these new artists,” Berner griped, “XXXTentacion, Image Dragons, Ariana Venti... they all sound the same!”
“While it may seem extreme and highly controversial, we see that offing yourself is the fastest way to do away with your debts.”
“This is an important step in untethering our organization from any ethical or other obligations we might owe the men who were sexually abused as Boy Scouts, and freeing up resources to concentrate on covering our own behinds."
According to the police report, "She said it was just a routine stop-and-frisk, but it did not feel routine. The Senator attacked Mr. Bloomberg, repeatedly hammering him with what she called 'good policy.' He was left with multiple bruises to both his face, and his ego. He is seeking a restraining order for duration of … Continue reading Bloomberg Gets Restraining Order After Being Pistol-Whipped By Warren
Fresh off last night's debate, Elizabeth Warren was spotted this afternoon stuffing a bruised, whimpering Michael Bloomberg into a very sensible Samsonite suitcase. When asked by reporters what she was doing, Warren responded, "Sorry, I've signed a non-disclosure agreement." The suitcase is believed to have been purchased at a yard sale. By Paul Klingle, Photo … Continue reading Warren Packs Battered Bloomberg In Suitcase And Heads To Next Campaign Event
Taking your Wu Tang name into consideration, think of how the new you would want their hair. For example, after telling my landlord "I love you" before hanging up the phone, I opted for the name Ambassador Strong. How would Ambassador style her hair? Does she even have hair? Maybe Ambassador is more of a hat person.
8-year-old Matt Grimes has reportedly claimed that his controller is broken, leading him to only have 2 kills and 28 deaths in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, and couldn't face the truth that he really just sucks ass at video games.
"I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."
The story involves someone named Carrie, who is either Allen’s work enemy, his college housemate, or maybe his cousin. Seriously, does it matter?