Chicago, IL —

The reviews are in for fast-food chain McDonald’s St. Patrick’s Day offering, the Impossible Leprechaun Burger: Customers overwhelming report that they taste like the real thing.

“I don’t know about those beefless burger things, never fooled me much,” said McDonald’s frequenter Shane O’Hara. “But I’ll tell you what. I absolutely cannot tell the difference between these fake leprechaun burgers and the real thing. I grew up outside Dublin, and our family’s main entrée was leprechaun burgers. My father and I would go out in the woods together every week where we’d hunt those suckers down, get ’em home and throw ’em in a boiling pot like lobsters. Then you shape ’em into patties right after removing the hat, the big black buckle, the green suit, and the funny hat.”

“Point is,” O’Hara continued, “they had this complex taste – like a mixture of four-leaf clovers and beard hair. So I don’t know how in the heck Micky D’s did it, but this ‘impossible’ version of theirs is spot on!”

A McDonald’s spokesperson told Unsubscribed, “Don’t tell anyone, but all we did was color our regular burgers green.”

By Holly Love