“Look, in these tough times, I want to show the American people that I can get us through anything. My opponent may have a detailed plan to get every American free, basic healthcare, but that’s not the issue right now. The issue is this virus. And that we don’t have toilet paper. Sometimes you got to triage the situation, and that’s what I’m good at. Ask my advisers. I’ve been plugging this leaky boat for years,” former Vice President Joe Biden said to reporters. “I will make sure that everyone who votes for me walks out of their precinct — the three that are open today — with what they need right now. Limit two per household, please.”

By Emily Sanchez

5 thoughts on “Biden Promises One Roll Of Toilet Paper To Everyone Who Votes For Him

  1. Voter fraud finally works in my favor! By repeated voting I’ll have my own stash of TP!

    (Keep up the great work, Unsubscribed. We need your humor.)

  2. This guy is a laughing stock. Bribing voters with a roll of TP?! This is why Trump is our President and I’ll be voting for his re-election. Biden has nothing to bring to the table. His mental condition is in question. No thank you

    1. Uh, you are aware this is a satire site, right? Good thing to have a lighter side of the news to sharpen the mind.

  3. Biden, each day you seem to be doing one stupid thing after another. Please stop this, we need a good, strong put together presidential candidate to vote for! Not a clown, your making me want to just stay home in November.

  4. Beware of a projectile heading your way..
    Heads up…!! 🙂 😉