As many Americans are getting a little antsy, and understandably saddened by the loss of income—income they managed to make in spite of those job-stealing immigrants—some are taking to the streets to protest stay-at-home orders.

“We’re angry, and we have every right to be, but at least we’re just meeting up with some civility,” one member of the crowd said in between sneezes, clutching his gun. “You want to talk danger? The real danger was that Kaepernick kneeling during our national anthem. Now that was a virus. Everyone starting kneeling, claiming they all the sudden had a problem with police brutality. We’re just spreading ‘germs.’ He was spreading ideas.”

By Emily Sanchez

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