First, select the patterns and styles you’d like to use to absorb your tears.

Second, fluff them up for maximum sound dampening.

Third, throw your body onto them and scream. (You may need to readjust them if the pillows squirm under the weight of your soul.)

Repeat as needed.

One thought on “How To Perfectly Arrange Your Throw Pillows So No One Hears Your Screams

  1. If you live far enoudh out in the country—this is not a problem—no pillows necessary. .

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