Pyongyang—

The Supreme Leader of North Korea is spending some much-deserved family time with his father and former benevolent leader Kim Jong Il at the family’s unicorn lair. The lair is located deep in the enchanted forest, and has been a source of great healing and a reprieve from the stressors that come from leading the greatest empire in world, the North Korean regime reports.

“The Supreme Leader is not sick, as your lamestream media wants everyone to believe. He is full of vigor and bold ideas that will bring the world to their knees. Enough with the fake news. Sad. Nobody gives him enough credit,” the regime’s spokesman said. At press time, Kim was once again “spotted” braiding his favorite unicorn, Ella Enchanted’s tail.

By Emily Sanchez, Photo edit: Emily Sanchez

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