Erie, PA —

Erie, Pennsylvania was plunged into grief last week when sixteen-year-old Jason Telford’s car went over an embankment, killing the star-student, sports-prodigy teen, who was beloved by all in the community for his intelligence, kindness, and dazzling array of talents. Also, his below-average dropout sister Mary died.

“We can’t even wrap our heads around this tragedy,” said Telford’s father. “Jason was one of those kids that comes along once in a lifetime. I was sure he’d end up in the NFL, or President of the United States, you name it. He was amazing beyond his years, and I can’t imagine life without him. His mother and I will mourn him and miss him forever. Shame about Mary, too, I guess.”

At Telford’s memorial this past weekend, the highly emotional crowd could be heard talking amongst themselves. “How could this happen to someone as amazing as Jason?” “I’ll never get over this. Jason was an incredible friend.” “I was in love with Jason!” “Mary who?”

In lieu of flowers, the Telfords request that donations be made to the Jason Telford Scholarship Foundation, set up as a tribute to their son. “We intend to fund another deserving young student to honor Jason’s legacy and carry on the memory of his beautiful, gifted soul.” In testament to Jason’s impact on those who knew him, mourners wrote hefty checks to the foundation as they exited the memorial, pausing only to drop their extra pocket change into the coffee can labeled “Help-Turn-Jason’s-Sister’s-Bedroom-Into-A-Rec-Room Fund.”

by Holly Love