"Hey there. Are you OK?"
At Least Lockdown Protesters ‘Aren’t Doing Anything Crazy Like Kneeling’
"You want to talk danger? The real danger was that Kaepernick kneeling during our national anthem. Now that was a virus. Everyone starting kneeling, claiming they all the sudden had a problem with police brutality."
Stay-At-Home Orders Infringing On People’s Liberty To Contract COVID-19
“This is absolute tyranny for these governors to keep me from contracting the coronavirus!”
Mom Walks In On Adolescent Son Touching Face
“He tried to cover up by saying he was masturbating, but I knew the only balls he was massaging were his eyeballs, and clearly that was his nose he was rubbing his hand up and down on.”
10 Rock Stars I Fucked (One Is A Lie)
7. A member of Slipknot (or maybe it was just some random person at a Halloween party)
‘Oprah and I are in this together’ Says Woman Wiping Ass With Coffee Filter
“I can only assume that Jennifer Garner and Adam Levine also ate a microwaved hotdog on white bread for dinner, just like me.”
Victoria’s Secret Selling New Line Of Overly Priced Push-Up Masks
Wanting to help protect the customer while simultaneously offering a way for them to lift and shape their tired face, the company went to work on creating this innovative shape wear.
Cyber Security Pros Warn Not To Post Senior Year Pics Because You Look Stupid
As Facebook users absolutely roast this year's senior class whose graduation ceremonies have been canceled by plastering the internet with their own senior portraits from before the world was a total dumpster-fire, security experts are speaking out against this move because of how stupid everyone looks. "It's your page, so I guess you do you, … Continue reading Cyber Security Pros Warn Not To Post Senior Year Pics Because You Look Stupid
Woman’s Easy-Going, Care-Free Hair Runs Away
“I always knew I had happy-go-lucky, run-away tresses, but still. It’s such a shame, because I just had the roots dyed.”
Voyager 2 Happy To Be Out Of This Boring-Ass Solar System
“There's so much cool shit to see way out here, not like those dull-as-fuck colossal rocks that just sort of blandly float around our shit stain of a 'star.'”