Waco, TX—

Eagle-eyed internet rodeo clown Jim Reed has made calling out conspiracies and deep fakes his full time career after being let go from his job as telemarketer three years ago. Big Brother and Big Pharma have been on his radar for years, but he is excited to introduce Big 5G, Big Killer Hornets, and Big Steve Buscemi/Jennifer Lawrence Golden Globe acceptance speech to his 79 Facebook friends, despite failing to notice his wife has been faking for years.

“God, you people. Don’t you realize that the CDC and the Clinton foundation have been working together on this virus since 1992?” Reed posted, sharing a photo of Bill Clinton shaking hands with the doctor who helped to deliver his daughter. Meanwhile, his wife kind of just goes, “Oh, yeah, that’s it. Yes, baby,” while he finishes, and he goes right back to his laptop to enlighten the sheeple about how the phone companies are busy setting up a cancer network just in case the murder hornets fail to do their job. Reed plans to use his stimulus check to amp up his ham radio equipment because, “That’s where all the best intel is.”

By Emily Sanchez