Nationwide closures due to COVID-19 have begun to take a real toll. Local economies are suffering, families are tired of being cooped up together, but most importantly, our bangs have completely grown out.

Unmanageable cowlicks have spawned protests throughout the US. Crowds of ugly, angry people have blocked our roadways and stormed government buildings. Local mortician, Denny Bondo, hears our cries and promises to give the best haircut. “The protesters are actually quite brilliant. Gathering in crowds is a fantastic way to ensure they receive the greatest final haircut of their lifetime,” Denny praised. “My door is always open. Send them my way, would ya? Here’s my card.”

Mr. Bondo hurried back to the funeral home to prepare for a business rush where he found a card on his front door for Randy’s Refrigerated Box Trucks.

By Tommi Becker