Cambridge, MA —

Darius Wilkins-Frye, a 20-year-old Gen Z’er, scoffs at the notion that he and others his age are unable to read an analog clock. 

“Boomers keep mocking us for not understanding older technology, but my friends and I all wear retro watches, and they’re not that difficult to figure out. Right now, it’s O’Hands-A-Twelvity.”

Wilkins-Frye says he is equally tired of hearing his elders make fun of him for other supposed lapses in ancient technological knowledge.

“Yes, I can read cursive, but it’s pretty stupid they needed a whole different font just for cursing. And please — I know how to work a typewriter. I bought one from a guy in Maine, and I’ll be texting with it as soon as I can find a cord for it. Don’t even start in with me about what a milkman was. My grandma told me all about them —they come to your house in the morning and you hook up with them.”

“Look, I gotta go. All of us with the analog watches are meeting up on Zoom at Half-Past-the-Quarter-of-Clocky-Face.”

By Joe Lichtblau