Cape Canaveral, FL —

In what it describes as “a public service to advance scientific literacy,” NASA will offer flat-earth believers one-way trips into deep space to prove that our planet is round.

“We don’t want to prejudice the experience with anything round,” said NASA Administrator Jim Bridenstine. “That’s why it’s a one-way trip, not a round trip. The average person would miss nuances like that, but flat-earthers are much smarter than the average person. So much, much smarter.”

“In fact, it’s an even better deal than it appears, because our valued guests, heading forever into space, will see much more of the universe than just planet earth. So much, much more. An infinite amount, really.”

Chester McDowell, a prominent proponent of the flat earth theory, commented, “I’m a skeptical person. If the earth looks round from the spaceship, I won’t believe it the first time I see it. That’s why I’m buying tickets for two of these one-way trips in a row.”

By Joe Lichtblau