Fremont, CA —
In a rare moment of humility, Elon Musk has apologized to hundreds of Tesla customers who took delivery of a brand new vehicle, only to find the rotting corpse of a COVID-stricken line worker inside.
“Tesla will replace any cars that were shipped with an unrequested, factory-installed, deceased employee,” said Musk.
Sources report that, in the rush to re-open Tesla’s California manufacturing facility, the company overlooked some basic quality control protocols. When employees working shoulder-to-shoulder with no masks or protective gear fell over dead from Coronavirus on the assembly line, production continued, which resulted in hundreds of vehicles being shipped with the body of a Tesla worker curled up in the passenger compartment, under the hood, or inside the trunk.
A spokesperson for Tesla noted that “many customers were delighted by the unique customization the body of a departed stranger adds to their new, high-performance vehicle, but for those who were not, Tesla is offering full redress.”
By Joe Lichtblau