Washington, DC —
In a freewheeling press conference in the Rose Garden this morning, President Trump let it be known that he regularly smokes, drops, snorts, and shoots up hard narcotics as well as spray-tan solvents.
“I just said to Melania — great woman. Just like Mike Pence, only more female. I said, Melania, honey, where’s my syringe? Because it was on top of the toilet earlier. Great toilet. I’m not saying I shoot heroin, but I just said it. Not that I’m saying it. Acid, shrooms, Bolivian marching powder. Bolivia. Great city. Long lines — don’t try it if you have weak nostrils. I have incredibly healthy nostrils. Also, powdered Tang, or maybe spray on tan. Take your pick. Once a day, wham. Right in the arm. And I’m fine. I’m always flying. And I don’t mean Air Force One. Great team, Air Force. Meth? Why not? Beautiful. It’s so beautiful.”
By Joe Lichtblau