After a thorough questioning of everyone at the Ford plant, President Trump met with his lawyers to devise a lawsuit against the maker of this line of masks. “My mask smells like farts, does yours smell like farts?” Trump quizzed factory workers. Determining that this was some cruel joke orchestrated by the liberal media to undermine his authority, the President demanded to try on everyone else’s masks. “They all said theirs didn’t smell like fart, but when I put on these other masks, I knew they were lying. Every last one of them was so bad. Rank. Truly awful. How are our brave men and women supposed to live like this?” At press time, the President was busy noting that every room in the White House has been smelling very shart-like, and that another golf trip is needed.