Washougal , WA—

Katie Jenkins is a pretty average twenty-seven year old woman. She has a full-time job as a department manager at Target, she lives in a cozy two bedroom house, she has an adorable cat named Steven, and she can swallow a whole dick.

Pretty mundane stuff, right? Here’s where it gets interesting. Despite the fact that Katie has been swallowing whole dick since she was a freshman in college, she cannot seem to swallow her multivitamin.

“I just don’t get it… I can ram a fat hog right down my throat, but this hard tablet just won’t cooperate,” stated Jenkins. “It’s really a mystery considering that it’s so much smaller than any wiener I’ve attempted to sword swallow.”

We reached out to Centrum, the manufacturer of Katie’s multivitamin. Here’s what a spokesperson had to say:

“Here at Centrum we are dedicated to keeping people healthy. Customizing our products to meet the needs of our customers is at the top of our list of priorities. Not only do we offer multivitamins geared towards pregnant women, senior citizens, and children, but soon we will be releasing one geared towards women just like Ms. Jenkins. I’m proud to introduce Centrum Peen. A vitamin that meets all the nutritional needs of women, but in the comfortable and familiar shape of a large, girthy dong. We are confident that this is the solution that this will not only help Ms. Jenkins, but also dick swallowing women across the world.”

We look forward to catching up with Katie in the future to see if the new and improved design was a success.

By CarolAnn Liebelt