Portland, OR —

According to Portland Police Bureau Assistant Chief Chris Davis, sometime after 1:30 am Friday, officers in a sound truck that broadcasts communication to protesters came under attack.

Officers in the truck then deployed a tool called a long range acoustic device (LRAD), which Davis said “emits a tone that is very hard to endure, but does not cause any real physical harm. Mostly, it makes you cringe and feel a hefty amount of secondhand embarrassment.”

News reports say the device will emit the unpleasant, painfully shrieky Puddle of Mudd cover of Nirvana’s hit song About A Girl at more than 150 decibels, which can be aimed and projected over long distances.

“We actually had a sound technician tweak the midrange to reduce the vocals after early drills resulted in bleeding ears and even seizures.” Reports Davis. “We want it to be unpleasant enough to disperse agitated groups but not cause any lasting trauma. We don’t need a repeat of the 2015 Train incident. As violent as the Baltimore protests over Freddie Gray’s death were, nothing compared to when the PD came in blaring Hey, Soul Sister and several demonstrators subsequently started clawing their own eyes out and running, screaming, into oncoming traffic.”

By CarolAnn Liebelt

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