Houston, TX—

“It’s been a crazy time, so I thought I should probably just stay put,” veteran officer Dallas Muller explained to his supervisor after multiple phone calls were placed to the non-emergency line expressing concern for the corpse-like motorcycle cop off the Gulf Freeway. “I figured if I just sit tight, I probably won’t shoot anyone. Honestly, I didn’t too much work before, so I don’t see the problem.”

An online group has already garnered over 7,000 members since this story was first reported two days ago called ‘Donuts For Dallas’ encouraging residents to stop on by and bring this real-life good cop his favorite tasty treats from Voodoo Doughnut.