With an optimistic sense of greater things to come, the world’s young people have expressed enthusiasm after living through the COVID-19 pandemic, one of scores of global catastrophes they are set to experience.

“It’s been tough going with this pandemic and civil unrest, but if nothing else, it will be good training for the no-more-coffee crisis, no-more-pollinators crisis, no-more-water crisis, no-more-Virgin Islands crisis, and the inevitable no-more-topsoil crisis,” remarked every single person born after 1990.

Josh Hulin, Gen-Z guru and extremely sad person, explained: “Most of the time, today’s youth just want to die. But in this time of emergency, they’ve begun to realize that if they come together and stick it out for the long run, it will result in a much more satisfying kind of misery.”

But, explained Hulin, the greatest source of hope for the youth has been the government’s exceptional response to the current crisis, the nation’s refusal to turn it into something divisive or political, and the overwhelming sense of goodwill between humankind.