Presidential candidate Joe Biden has been working around the clock to keep it together until November’s election. “They’ve told me that I can’t say certain things anymore. The sugar babies running my campaign have been jotting down my lil’ pet names for them, and every morning they read to me this list they got, and remind me to never say them.” When asked for the list, Biden quickly provided them with a wink, “Just don’t tell anyone, my Jillybean won’t like it. I’m working hard on this. ‘Hard on’ get it?!”
Words on his “Do Not Say It” list include, but are not limited to:
Sweet Tits
Sweet Cheeks
Sugar Nuts
Black Stallion
Black Mama
Luscious Lips
Jail Bait
Hot Pocket
Yummy Yummy
Big Daddy
Tight Little Number
Don Cheadle
Tall Drink of Water
Tall Glass of Milk
Tall Glass of Chocolate Milk
Tall Glass of Rice Milk
J-Lo Booty
Bend It Like Beckham
Easy Rider
Hard Body
Knockers
Rump Shaker
Slap ‘n Tickle
Moisty
Caramel Macchiato
Patty Melt
Carpet & Drapes
Barry
“Joe Biden is an exemplar of great leadership. Any reports of him using tactless language to describe his fellow men and women is untruthful. He is always a gentleman. And either way, he’s still better than Ol’ Orange Numbnuts,” a Biden staffer told Unsubscribed.