The ongoing "pandemic," caused by the supposed "coronavirus," has lasted nearly nine months so far, thanks to the impressive effort of all the crisis actors that have been staging this charade.
Man Tries Medical Marijuana For Anxiety Caused By Recreational Marijuana
“Yeah, I have been smoking weed since 1994, but this is for my anxiety. It’s not about getting high,” says Nathan Morris while puffing on his 89% THC Blue Dream vape pen, clearly baked.
Cardboard Cutout Insists He Could Have Hit That
"ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?! I could have hit that. My GRANDMA could have it that," shouted Gary Stevens, 44, with his cold, unfeeling eyes. "If my shoulder didn't get all tore up from when that guy Bill was jamming me into my seat, that could have been me out there." By Emily Sanchez
BREAKING: 4-Year-Old About To Pull Off Some Sweet Parkour!
With the confidence of a triathlon champion and the skillset of a 70-year-old that's been cut off by the bartender, Noah Treliving crouches in preparation for what will undoubtedly be the sweetest achievement of his life.
Bleating Goat Wanders Onto Republican Stage, No One Notices
WASHINGTON On night 77 of the Republican National Convention, an exhausted lighting guy noticed a bleating, screaming goat on an empty stage. "Dude, is that supposed to be there? Where are all the people?" asked the 54-year-old gaffer. At publication time, the tech team was busy reviewing the footage to exactly how long the goat … Continue reading Bleating Goat Wanders Onto Republican Stage, No One Notices
I Am A Journalist With Amnesia And I Forgot What I Was Going To Write About
Hello I am...actually what was my name? This damn amnesia that I got made me forget. Something big happened...I swear it did, and I really was going to write about it. Something about a car accident? I think maybe a natural disaster. Honestly I'm not sure if the location at the top of the article is correct. It's possible I'm not a journalist?
COMING SOON: Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs And Only Six Ventilators
At first Snow White seems most likely to choose Dopey or Sneezy to die, maybe even both, so she can use the extra ventilator as a nightstand. Click to read the plot summary exclusively obtained by Unsubscribed.
Melania Trump Hoping To Stay On In Biden Administration
"I don't need much. Just a small room in house. I fit in the corner. Please, don't make me go with him. Let me stay here," the First Lady appealed to Joe Biden before the RNC. "Jill very nice lady. And I will not get in her way. Mrs. Jill is a very lucky woman … Continue reading Melania Trump Hoping To Stay On In Biden Administration
Kimberly Guilfoyle Vows To Come To Your House If Trump Loses
In a terrifying, apocalyptic vision at the Republican Convention on Monday, a shrieking Kimberly Guilfoyle warned of a parade of horribles that would be visited on America if Joe Biden is elected President. The most chilling aspect of her revelation was her promise to personally visit the homes of viewers if our nation turns away … Continue reading Kimberly Guilfoyle Vows To Come To Your House If Trump Loses
Okay, But How Is Your Last Name ‘Cumming’ And You Haven’t Changed It?
We don't get it. Other than your last name, you seem like a perfectly normal couple. You have to know that everyone laughs when they say your name. You probably enjoy it. It'd be like if your last name was Areola, or Beaver, or Johnson. Stroker. What if it was Stroker? Just change it. They'll … Continue reading Okay, But How Is Your Last Name ‘Cumming’ And You Haven’t Changed It?