In a change of pace, male body spray company Axe released a commercial admitting that their products made people smell good, thereby making them more of a sissy.
“There’s no way around it – the new Axe gives a pleasant, inviting fragrance, and no amount of ads with alpha males being mauled by rabid women can hide the fact that smelling nice is inherently girly,” said Axe’s head of marketing. The TV advertisement portrays a young male being kicked out of his house by his homophobic father, shouting “No son of mine wears perfume! I’ve been working in the coal mines all day and you come home smelling…aromatic?” When the son explains that he is in fact wearing Axe body spray, the father scoffs, “Yeah, well, you smell good, and smelling good is for women.” Alternate versions of the advertisement also show the father covering himself in bacon grease.
While it’s unclear what ironic angle Axe is going for, it has resonated very well with men over 70 years old. “Back in my day, any attempt to care about my appearance was considered girly and vain,” said David Larson, an Iowa retiree. “This ad tells it like it is. If you wanted to get a girl, you did it with your cunning, or your work ethic, or… well, you know, sometimes we just went ahead and took them without asking. But one thing we DIDN’T do was carry around a bottle of perfume to touch up in the bathroom like a lady on the town. I really respect Axe for convincing me never to use their products.”
Regardless, many young men still eagerly purchase Axe and spray it all over their middle school locker rooms, a frightening sign that perhaps one day, all boys will be able to embrace small forms of self-care without getting angry.