Beaver Falls, PA —

People are being encouraged to check for large chunks of proof after a Beaver County man nearly lost his life eating some pudding yesterday. 42-year-old Ryan Smallwood was sitting down in front of his TV enjoying a rather large bowl of chocolate pudding when he began choking. “I wasn’t really paying attention,” Smallwood said. “Just shovelling pudding in my mouth, and all of a sudden, I realized there was something in it. I was told this pudding was good, and it was. The proof was in it, but I didn’t know there would be THAT much proof. It almost killed me! There should be some sort of warning label.”

“People generally know there’s proof in the pudding, and it’s usually fine.” Says dietician Dr. Kelsie Finley. “But this poor man’s situation shows that it’s not always fine. If you buy the really good stuff, it can have lots of proof, which is definitely a choking hazard. Know your limits. If the truth looks too hard to swallow, it probably is.”

By Ethan Moore