“This is standard operating procedure,” assured Secret Service Director James M. Murray. “We have done this at the end of every modern President’s term, but you’re just hearing about it now because one of our team members thought it would be funny to post it to his Twitter account. Yes, absolutely we always do this. It’s very normal.”

Secret Service has been performing these drills since February of 2017, but the blow up doll was just introduced in August. “We feel like it adds a touch of realism to an otherwise abstract idea,” Murray explained. “We usually apprehend the baby doll when it’s looking at its phone. Actually, we lost it for a few weeks, but then Mr. Pence finally ‘found it’ ‘in his bedroom’ ‘because some practical joker must have put it there.’ If you think about it, this is one of the most beautiful things about American democracy.”

By Emily Sanchez