US Government Announces COVID Vaccine Will Be Ready By Christmas

"We always hoped it would be a vaccine that's been around for years. So, when my team suggested sharpened candy canes, I knew we were onto something," a NIAID Vaccine Research Center (VRC) scientist explained. "We sent an intern down to pick up a pack of candy canes, and we all got to sucking. It'll … Continue reading US Government Announces COVID Vaccine Will Be Ready By Christmas

Trump Absolutely COVERED In Flies After They Emerge From His Mouth

After feeding on the President's internal body rot, a beautiful family maggots transformed into flies and came swarming out of his mouth during a tirade against the radical left. "I heard this buzzing, I thought it was a hum from the mic or something," explained one of the sound crew. "But then all the sudden … Continue reading Trump Absolutely COVERED In Flies After They Emerge From His Mouth

Trump Further Undoes Obama Presidency By Resurrecting Osama Bin Laden

Washington D.C. In a surprising move to cement his own legacy and dismantle his predecessor, president Donald Trump resurrected Al-Qaeda leader, Osama Bin Laden, back from the dead after being killed by SEAL Team 6 back on May 6, 2011 by order of President Obama. The move received mix views for U.S. citizens with some … Continue reading Trump Further Undoes Obama Presidency By Resurrecting Osama Bin Laden

America Consults Iraq For Advice On Maintaining Free And Fair Elections

Stephen Miller, a top policy adviser to President Trump, is currently in Iraq to learn a few best practices on ensuring a free and fair election. "We have our own Jim Crow ideas," Miller explained. "But that's so old school. We're always looking to keep it fresh. So, it was either here or Russia, but … Continue reading America Consults Iraq For Advice On Maintaining Free And Fair Elections