“We always hoped it would be a vaccine that’s been around for years. So, when my team suggested sharpened candy canes, I knew we were onto something,” a NIAID Vaccine Research Center (VRC) scientist explained. “We sent an intern down to pick up a pack of candy canes, and we all got to sucking. It’ll take some time to perfect it. If you get them too pointy, they snap when you jam them into an arm, but if they’re not sharp enough, they’ll never penetrate flesh. We’re confident to have this ready by Christmas.”

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