“It’s unlike anything we’ve ever seen before,” reported thousands of Supervisors of Elections.

“People just absolutely losing it in line. We were prepared for arguments, but not for hyperventilating and straight-up crying,” explained a Manhattan area poll worker. “I had to tell some guy to breathe into a brown paper bag. Thank God the man behind him was using one to conceal a Budweiser.”

Readers are advised to visit the American Psychological Association’s website for a list of tips to calming the f- down, including deleting half of your friends on social media.