“Hey man, no problem,” California’s Secretary of State Alex Padilla said in a certified letter to Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani. “We can recount as long as he wants. I’m sure we probably just made five or six million mistakes and we owe him that. You know how these illegals are. We have thousands of people offering to help with the count, heck, we’ll go ahead and get started even if we don’t hear from you. It’ll be our pleasure.”

By Emily Sanchez