“Oh man, I’m going to miss you guys so much this year, but you know, we gotta stay safe,” Tomas Tavers, 29, texted his grief-stricken mom, who was busy planning a meal for 27 people. “I’ll be thinking of you all, give Nana and PopPop a hug for me. I couldn’t live with myself if I was the one who ends up getting them sick. Tell Chad that he’s old enough now to fill in for me as QB. It definitely won’t be the same with just me and my girlfriend and the couple of friends we invited over, but we all have to make do.”

Of course, this text sent off a series of rapid-fire mom questions: “YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?! When do I get to meet her?!” And “You are LITERALLY killing me and your father.” Followed by, “Maybe we can all do one of those Zoom meetings together?”

Tavers has since reported that his favorite pilsner was BOGO, and that his WIFI’s been real spotty so he won’t be able to Zoom either.