Man Working Up Story About How Sad He Is He Can’t Come Home For Holidays Due To COVID

"Oh man, I'm going to miss you guys so much this year, but you know, we gotta stay safe," Tomas Tavers, 29, texted his grief-stricken mom, who was busy planning a meal for 27 people. "I'll be thinking of you all, give Nana and PopPop a hug for me. I couldn't live with myself if … Continue reading Man Working Up Story About How Sad He Is He Can’t Come Home For Holidays Due To COVID

Trump Boasts That He Only Needed One Term Unlike Loser Obama Who Needed Two

"Listen, we don't all need two terms because some of us are capable of making America great in four years. I did more as a one term President than Obama did in eight years. It's truly astonishing. That's what everyone is telling me," Trump surmised before reporters. "Everyone, I get calls, get these calls from … Continue reading Trump Boasts That He Only Needed One Term Unlike Loser Obama Who Needed Two

So You’ve Gone And Gotten Yourself Two Presidents. Now What?

4. Make them think they're the only one. This is both accomplished by the way you treat them, and your use of emergency exits and tripping the fire alarm. Each guy needs to feel special. Send them little treats to let them know you're thinking of them: a nice whiskey, a new set of golf balls, an application to AARP. Their happiness and blinding ignorance is crucial to the entire charade.