“I remember they had this penny candy, and they didn’t just call it that, it was all actually a penny. Mama would send us all down there with a few pennies, I still remember the jingle in my pocket from them, and we’d make our selection. I’d get a big thing of black licorice. A few of my friends called ’em N****** whips, but I never did, kind of funny though. Sometimes she’d have us pick up some bread, a whole loaf for a nickel! Can you believe it?” Senate Majority Leader McConnell told Hill reporters who had asked about the measly $600 Americans will get from the new bill. “So, if you think about it, $600 is a fortune! Why, I remember when a shiny new car cost that. These people are lucky to have me fighting for them. If they’d ever get off their rear-ends they’d tell you themselves how grateful they are right now.”

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