Houston, TX —

Rice University reported that today the aligning orbits of Saturn and Jupiter are the closest they have been in 800 years and will be far closer than you are with your dad. “The planets will be close enough to look like a super planet, unlike your not-super dad who never showed up for your milestone moments in life,” announced top astronomers.

The two gas giants will appear to be 0.1 degrees away from each other, dramatically closer than you’ll ever be with the man who helped spawn you and really hasn’t put in any effort to acknowledge you or your accomplishments.

By Zach England

One thought on “Saturn and Jupiter Are Closer Today Than You Will Ever Be With Your Dad

  1. It was not a star!
    The star of the magicians was not one of those we see in the firmament of the night sky. It was some logical and invisible force, an angel, who took the shape of a star.
    How can we be sure of that? Its course proves it to us • It does not go from east to west but from north to south, since Palestine is in the south of Persia. It is also visible during the day, which is unnatural for a star. It disappears in the area of Jerusalem and reappears when the magicians leave it.
    Even when He leads them to the manger, He does not see them from heaven, but stops right where the child was, above His head. If it were just a star, it could not show such a limited space.
    We all know very well that because of the excessive height it is not possible for a star to determine the location of an entire city; let alone a minimal point within it. But this star of the newborn king showed the small place of the manger and after safely leading the magicians near him, he walked away; and this is not a feature of a common star.
    https://www.orthodoxianewsagency.gr/epikairotita/ti-itan-to-asteri-tis-vithleem/ ~right click to translate to English~
    St. John Chrysostom

    What Is the Orthodox Church? – Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick

    Bob Simon previews the Mt. Athos monks

    God bless