Houston, TX —
Rice University reported that today the aligning orbits of Saturn and Jupiter are the closest they have been in 800 years and will be far closer than you are with your dad. “The planets will be close enough to look like a super planet, unlike your not-super dad who never showed up for your milestone moments in life,” announced top astronomers.
The two gas giants will appear to be 0.1 degrees away from each other, dramatically closer than you’ll ever be with the man who helped spawn you and really hasn’t put in any effort to acknowledge you or your accomplishments.
By Zach England