Distracted by tweeting over the election, President Trump was disappointed by news on Fox & Friends that white-supremacist serial killer Al Anders died by lethal injection on Wednesday. “Damn, I meant to grant that guy a pardon. I must have mixed up the pardon pile with the execution pile. Oh well, at least those twenty-five ICE agents who shot fleeing immigrants in the back will be able to return to their families.” Trump was then shocked to see footage of Islamic terrorist Ali Atwa walking out of the Guantanamo Bay Detention Center, smiling and waving a Presidential pardon at reporters.

By Fred Gailey