“Oh, it’s been quite a long day,” President Biden waved to the socially-distanced crowd. “Figured we’d turn in early, maybe catch up on The Queen’s Gambit, and get ready to do it all again in the morning. We’ll be back to the White House bright and early definitely by lunch time. This is the honor of my lifetime. God bless.”

When a reporter pointed out that he has a home now within the White House, he explained, “Oh yeah, but come on, would you want to sleep where they slept right away? We gotta air that place out a bit, ya know?”