“I went to Mexico because I love my family. I’m a good dad. If you love your family, you should go too. Our pipe’s are frozen. Or our windmills, something like that. All I know is it’s AOC’s fault, and it’s cold af here,” Cruz told reporters at the airport. “Geez, get off my back. Normally, everyone’s trying to get out of Mexico to come here, but Cancún’s not really Mexico, it’s white spring break Mexico. I’m not sure anyone even lives there, it’s just one giant shot of tequila. Perfect for the whole family.”

By Emily Sanchez