“Not that it’s real, but whatever was causing all of Texas to be caught under an avalanche, supposed ‘global warming’ or whatever nonsense hooey, it is clear that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is at fault,” Senator Ted Cruz told reporters.

“It’s just like what Tucker Carlson says, ‘How’s the weather supposed to pay attention to what it’s doing when you got that total smokeshow AOC running around in those full, bright red lips, toned arms, and chiseled cheekbones? Her ass simply will not quit, and neither will this wicked weather. Coincidence? Absolutely not.’ So, just ask any Republican, 74% of them will tell you that her form-fitted lady suits are causing any, what the libs would call, ‘global warming.’ She must be stopped.”