After a rocky rollout of the J&J and Pfizer vaccines in Florida, the New Jersey-based Merk & Co has announced a Sunshine State-specific COVID vaccine. “We know they like dirty needles down there, but Pfizer’s being really persnickety about not reusing them. Then it hit us. How can we convince all Floridians to take this vaccine? Tell them to snort it! We can give them a little baggie full of powder and have them do a line. Heck, we won’t even have to give them the mirror or a razor blade. We’ll be distributing our new COVID Dust globally beginning next month, but we knew Florida was the best place to start,” explained Merck spokesperson Gayle Schwan.

Governor DeSantis expressed his enthusiasm for this new user-friendly option, “Oh, I’m going to do this one for sure.”