“We spent months rehearsing this,” kindergarten teacher Macy Lin said of the classic profanity-laced tirade against a bunch of ingrates. “I had to tell the kiddies to make sure not to rehearse in front of their parents because it was supposed to be a big surprise. And man, was it ever! The shock in the room was palpable.”

“By the 8th ‘suck a fuckin dick’ declaration, I couldn’t help but think my son’s teacher had a message for me,” explained one of the parents after the roast. “That loser 5th grade class absolutely ruined Imagine though, so I was at least proud of how Ms. Lin got our babies to be so in sync. Still, a person can only sit through a full 14 minute verbal assault for so long before they do something about it.”

“Oh yeah, I really hate these parents. We started working on this back in September,” Lin said as she packed up her 89 Nissan Maxima, having been fired moments before. “I’ll be fine. This job barely pays more than unemployment.”

“Olds Elementary School Choir” by Olds College is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0