“The world should not only fear the big nuke they can see,” began Putin in a press conference, “but they should fear the other nesting nukes. Inside every Russian nuke is 6 gradually smaller nukes, and finally the baby nuke. The baby nuke is the most powerful, for one day, inside it will nest other grandbaby nukes, and so on and so forth. Da. Nukes in nukes in nukes in nukes. That is what Mother Russia has waiting inside. Inside Mother Russia is another Mother Russia, but smaller. Inside smaller Russia nuke. Inside nuke another nuke. Inside baby nuke is new Mother Russia.”

By Emily Sanchez