Whole Foods' Pacific Northwest Regional Manager divulged, “We're contacting as many suppliers as we can to restock our lines of organic, biodynamic, and ayurvedic toilet paper, but in the meantime, have you thought about buying some tarragon? We have loads of that. I think it's meant for seafood or some shit.”
Booth 37 ain't nuthing ta fuck wit
Read it out loud, you soulless, bigoted right-wingers! It says COEXIST. That means we all have to share this planet, no matter how different we are, you racist, Trumplethinskin-loving pieces of shit!
That $38 million dollar estate you just inherited makes you the envy of all your friends and coworkers, but you're struggling to understand how a movie as wholly unnecessary as Grown Ups 2 is still $79 million more successful than you.
Stepping out of her car and being asked for spare change, she turned up the volume on her bluetooth speaker water bottle.
Pixar has a new film coming out, and no doubt it's going to be epic. Do you know what other epic thing is happening this year? This god damn Shiraz stain on my brand new Cashmere sweater, that's what.
“With his time-traveling capability, Keanu could easily be hooking up with younger-era women. Instead of chasing after a medieval princess, though, Keanu settled with someone from the same historical time span. This is empowering to all 21st Century women!”
I want to thank every Canadian that voted for me in this First Past The Post system, which I pledged to get rid of.
“That's twelve distinct photos of his smug toddler smirk on that beady-eyed, punchable face that only a mother could love. Now compare that to me, the world's sexiest leader, with my chiseled, Ken doll face. Which Canada will you invest in?”
"We are extremely confident that your child will put down whatever toy was previously holding their attention in favor of our hottest new product: whatever that kid over there is having fun with," The Fisher Price keynote speaker claimed.