According to sources close to the scene, a human embryo in its eighth week of development has been frantically checking at least once an hour to see if it is developing a rights-conferring penis.
"The café must know that classy middle-aged mothers will go apeshit for a granola with TWO superfoods in the title. And they know that every single one of them is going to butcher the pronunciation. This has got to be some kind of sick joke."
Of course, this was way back when. It's ancient history now. It's been at least two months.
"It's a disaster," Trump exclaimed. "It just doesn't work. They've gone through, like, 11 State Constitutions and they're still losers. If anyone knows a bad deal, it's me. I've made thousands of them."