The incumbent mayor is accused of misappropriating nearly nine thousand ketchup packets from the city's coffers directly into his personal vault.
"Just as soon as I was talking about buying Greenland, the Democrats were kind enough to hand me some kind of great new deal on all green lands. Of course, I signed the papers immediately before they could back down. What a bunch of suckers."
"For me, it was watching Naruto at my dad's house every second weekend. Sometimes Dad would even sit down and watch with me for a couple of minutes. They were the best times of my life. I miss him."
Try saying hi to your cashier three places early in the line. Suddenly, the facade drops. Instead of smiling and asking about your day, your act of friendliness is met with a confused glare. But that's not all. Try doing what I did: Wait for her to finish her shift, stay 50-100 feet away from her at all times, follow her to her car, and then try saying hi. Suddenly, Ms. "Did You Find Everything Okay?" is gone, revealing the neurotic, indignant hag she really is.
President Trump said, “We are investigating exactly how the DOJ and the rest of my government managed to do this one thing so well. It’s scary. Maybe if we can do this we can do other things? Who knows. I hope not."
“Our hands-off approach is what allows these terrific artists to get their hands on the tools they need to put on a great performance. The numbers this weekend speak for themselves.”
GoFundMe confirmed they had removed the donor from their platform.
"First, we must do a better job of identifying early warning signs, such as the election of Donald J. Trump. Second, we must stop the glorification of violence, including the gruesome and grisly rallies of Donald J. Trump."