“The test's accuracy has an error margin of 0.03%, which is all the confidence I need to continue my presidential run,” Warren stated.
This College Grad’s Student Loan Debt Is $69,000, Haha Sick!
“Hey, check this out,” Hayes says, nudging his roommates Ryan and Jackson to look at his student loan balance. Ryan looks over, eyes bugged: “Sweet.”
We Ranked The Top Ten Most Popular Christmas Songs And They’re All Garbage
You’d think the "most wonderful time of the year" would have the most wonderful music to accompany it, but you’d be wrong. So very, very wrong.
Man Hospitalized After Calling Eddie Vedder ‘Daughter’
“I was actually requesting they play the song 'Daughter.' I fucking love that song! I was in the moment and kept screaming, ‘DAUGHTER!!’... and holy shit, did things get crazy after that.”
Three Greek Yogurts That Say ‘I Do Butt Stuff’
Sure, it’s packed with lots of protein, but it’s also packed with a love for butt stuff. Some people love Greek yogurt and some despise it. These naysayers are not your people. They clearly do not engage in any butt play, whatsoever.
Son Quits Job So Parents Will Stop Asking Him What Time He Works
"Every fucking day it’s, 'What time do you work today, Sean?' Like goddamn, fam. My schedule is on the refrigerator. I even text them an image of my schedule every week. Can they not read? And why do they even care?"
Couple Who Met Online Can’t Wait To Be Disappointed In Person
“We met, of all places, in a group for fat cats, titled, ‘THIS CAT IS C H O N K Y,’” said Steve, fondly reminiscing about how he ‘met’ Samantha just eight blissful months ago.
T.I. Announces Retirement From Rap To Open Virginity Testing Clinics
"My clinics will provide sexually conscious parents with free or reduced-cost hymen checks for their precious angels, where the parents will be free from harsh judgement and criticism.”
I Love A Good Challenge Which Is Why I Married This Dumbfuck
“He can’t even get all of the chips in his mouth. It’s fascinating to watch, really. The crumbs will be stuck in his beard for days, and then he’ll eat them like they’re some kind of special snack. You could make an entire new bag of chips with all the pieces smashed in between the couch cushions."
Songs To Suck Dick To
Forget the lyrics about death and gloom, and grab a dick, feel the music flow through you, and get to sucking, honey. The anger in this song is inspiration for some optimal hardcore dick sucking.