Sure, it’s packed with lots of protein, but it’s also packed with a love for butt stuff. Some people love Greek yogurt and some despise it. These naysayers are not your people. They clearly do not engage in any butt play, whatsoever.
Son Quits Job So Parents Will Stop Asking Him What Time He Works
"Every fucking day it’s, 'What time do you work today, Sean?' Like goddamn, fam. My schedule is on the refrigerator. I even text them an image of my schedule every week. Can they not read? And why do they even care?"
Couple Who Met Online Can’t Wait To Be Disappointed In Person
“We met, of all places, in a group for fat cats, titled, ‘THIS CAT IS C H O N K Y,’” said Steve, fondly reminiscing about how he ‘met’ Samantha just eight blissful months ago.
T.I. Announces Retirement From Rap To Open Virginity Testing Clinics
"My clinics will provide sexually conscious parents with free or reduced-cost hymen checks for their precious angels, where the parents will be free from harsh judgement and criticism.”
I Love A Good Challenge Which Is Why I Married This Dumbfuck
“He can’t even get all of the chips in his mouth. It’s fascinating to watch, really. The crumbs will be stuck in his beard for days, and then he’ll eat them like they’re some kind of special snack. You could make an entire new bag of chips with all the pieces smashed in between the couch cushions."
Songs To Suck Dick To
Forget the lyrics about death and gloom, and grab a dick, feel the music flow through you, and get to sucking, honey. The anger in this song is inspiration for some optimal hardcore dick sucking.
Man Who Brags About Eating Ass Refuses To Eat Pineapple On Pizza
“My girl could go an entire month without showering and I’d still eat her ass over a slice of Hawaiian pizza any day of the week.”
Woman Starting New Diet Has Already Lost 6 Friends
The sounds of groans and despair from her friends in reaction to Alicia’s Facebook announcement of her new egg-only diet could be heard in unison from around the world. So far she has lost six friends and counting.
Brave Man Tells Girlfriend To ‘Calm Down’
“Looking back, I probably could’ve phrased things differently, but god dammit if the bitch wasn’t acting crazy.” John informed the police officer from his hospital bed, the painkillers finally kicking in.
Woman Never Roofied Feeling Inadequate And Undesirable
“I’m tired of hearing all of these stories about women getting roofied, Sara. I’m feeling left out. Am I not good enough to be roofied? I know I’m getting older. Hell, I’ll be 26 soon.”