The Senate falls short again of convicting President Trump. The case was an uphill battle as most Republican Senators cannot vote their conscious because they do not have one. "We believe he is not guilty of doing things he did or of saying the things he said," Mitch McConnell explained. "Frankly, there was no evidence … Continue reading Acquitted: Senate Finds Trump Not Guilty Of Doing The Things He Did
Trojan Selling Face Shields For Lovers
*CDC recommended*
Trump’s Lawyer Admits He Forgot He Was Supposed To Be Defending Him
After a sham of an opening statement, attorney Bruce Castor sheepishly admitted he completely forgot that he was part of Trump's defense team. I realize I pointed out that I know the difference between prosecution and defense, and I swear I do, but I got about 45 minutes in and realized that the ones nodding … Continue reading Trump’s Lawyer Admits He Forgot He Was Supposed To Be Defending Him
Dad Who Left For Cigarettes In 2005 To Return For 3K Child Relief Package
After President Biden announced a plan to provide $3000 per child age six through 17 and $3600 for those under six, deadbeat father of two Jim Hopple realized his greatest regret was abandoning his family. "I don't know, it just hit me. What am I doing with my life? I'm just going to walk out … Continue reading Dad Who Left For Cigarettes In 2005 To Return For 3K Child Relief Package
NFL Asks Fans To Not Eat Queso Out Of One Large Communal Bucket This Year
"It won't be like this forever," NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell consoled fans. "But maybe just this once, you can get individual buckets of cheese, or at the very least, one tub per family."
Hot New Game Side Quest Allows Characters To Take Down Hedge Fund
Other side quests challenge gamers to find Bernie's mittens and sign the Green New Deal.
Bidens Hop The Train Back To Delaware After A Long Day Of Inaugural Events
"Oh, it's been quite a long day," President Biden waved to the socially-distanced crowd. "Figured we'd turn in early, maybe catch up on The Queen's Gambit, and get ready to do it all again in the morning. We'll be back to the White House bright and early definitely by lunch time. This is the honor … Continue reading Bidens Hop The Train Back To Delaware After A Long Day Of Inaugural Events
Trump Makes Surprise Last-Minute Push To Overturn Election Results
After a tumultuous free and fair election season that saw President Trump demanding to stop the count and then to recount and recount and recount the votes, President Joe Biden was sworn in as the 46th President of the United States. Making one final attempt to overturn the will of over 80 million people, Trump … Continue reading Trump Makes Surprise Last-Minute Push To Overturn Election Results
Melania Thanks Husband Barack, Daughters Sasha And Malia In Farewell Speech
"Hey! (Applause.) What’s going on? (Applause.) Thank you all so much. You guys, that’s a command — rest yourselves. (Laughter.) We’re almost at the end. (Laughter.) Hello, everyone. And, may I say for the last time officially, welcome to the White House. Yes! (Applause.) Well, we are beyond thrilled to have you all here to … Continue reading Melania Thanks Husband Barack, Daughters Sasha And Malia In Farewell Speech
Biden’s Dogs All That’s Getting Man Through Day
"Look at them! Champ and Major, what a world. Presidential puppers, how have we made it 4 years without a Presidential pupper? But my God, it's happening. Yes, sir, look at you guys with those deep, soulful eyes and shiny coats," Sam Sherman, 39, said scrolling through his phone, scratching their scruffy little necks on … Continue reading Biden’s Dogs All That’s Getting Man Through Day