"We're hoping to spike racism in the face."
‘A Loaf Of Bread Cost A Nickel When I Was A Kid’ McConnell Brags Of Huge Stimulus Bill
"I remember they had this penny candy, and they didn't just call it that, it was all actually a penny. Mama would send us all down there with a few pennies, I still remember the jingle in my pocket from them, and we'd make our selection. I'd get a big thing of black licorice. A … Continue reading ‘A Loaf Of Bread Cost A Nickel When I Was A Kid’ McConnell Brags Of Huge Stimulus Bill
Dr. Jill Biden Wants You To Know You Can Call Her Dr. Jill Biden For Short
"Whether my husband is the President Elect or the President, you can keep it simple and just call me Dr. Jill Biden," the First Lady Elect told reporters who kept asking about her shoes. "Sure, I'll be the First Lady too, but 'First Lady Dr. Jill Biden' is unnecessary. I want the American people to … Continue reading Dr. Jill Biden Wants You To Know You Can Call Her Dr. Jill Biden For Short
Mitch McConnell Formally Recognizes Biden As Guy Who Was Obama’s VP
"Oh yeah, I've seen that guy before," McConnell proudly told his doctor when asked to identify Biden during a cognitive exam. "I think he had a dog. Next question?"
Trump Demands Recount Of Electoral Votes ‘OK, Again, But Slower This Time’
"Wait, I lost count. Start over. I know you're supposed to carry the 1 and then what? You add them up? I don't think so. There's no way Sleepy Joe got that many. I counted in my head first. He didn't get anywhere near that high," Trump said of the Electoral vote tally.
Amateur Songwriter Would Love To Chat With T. Swift About How She Can Improve
If I could just sit down with her, I know could help her take her career to the next level. Sure, she's written hundreds of sons, so of course she's got some hits mixed in there, but that's not what being a singer-songwriter is all about. I've only written 3, well 2 are actually done, … Continue reading Amateur Songwriter Would Love To Chat With T. Swift About How She Can Improve
Dog That Doesn’t See Color Only Barks At Black People
"I mean, I don't go around inviting them into my home, but honestly, I don't understand why she's like this. I don't have any Indians over either, but she never barks at them when I carry her into the Apple store."
Biden Appoints Michelle Obama To Position Of First Lady
"I just like to surround myself with the best of the best that Barack had to offer."
Hot Dog Guy Fills In After Quarterbacks Test Positive For COVID
"I always knew I had a good arm, you don't sling hot dogs and popcorn for 6 years without learning a thing or two. I was just happy to help out. Though, I do wish that people could have chilled with their orders until timeouts or when defense was up. Hard to multitask.