Multiple media entities in the state of Florida issued a joint statement today reminding citizens which state they were in, after nearly two whole days without an embarrassing news story.
By Ethan Moore
Michaels plans on running the most honest campaign, and he is off to a great start: “Fuck you. Fuck everyone,"
"They may as well all be black.”
“We figure we can feed it scraps and leftovers. And the water bottle in the cage is pretty big so they should be able to share if we fill it once a day.”
They were immediately confiscated and destroyed.
"We start with a tortilla. Meat, cheese, and lettuce go inside. Then we wrap it up, but before handing it to the customer, we turn it upside down."