The recording may take some time to finish, as drummer Joey Kramer was arrested last night for wrestling an imaginary bear at a KFC while naked and high on bath salts.
“From dropping off overdosing friends at the ER from out of a moving car, to giving 15% discounts to people who just completed rehab — there is no denying that he is a true friend.”
Multiple media entities in the state of Florida issued a joint statement today reminding citizens which state they were in, after nearly two whole days without an embarrassing news story.
By Ethan Moore
Michaels plans on running the most honest campaign, and he is off to a great start: “Fuck you. Fuck everyone,"
"They may as well all be black.”
“We figure we can feed it scraps and leftovers. And the water bottle in the cage is pretty big so they should be able to share if we fill it once a day.”
They were immediately confiscated and destroyed.
"We start with a tortilla. Meat, cheese, and lettuce go inside. Then we wrap it up, but before handing it to the customer, we turn it upside down."