Rest assured that The Rise of Skywalker is now the worst reviewed movie in human history. Stay tuned, after I see it a few dozen times, for me to explain why.
Many times innocent readers may laugh, without realizing that what they are laughing at really wasn't funny at all. My mission is to educate those who are confused.
In an uncomfortable segment on Meet the Press, moderator Chuck Todd mercilessly ridiculed Presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg.
"When other countries allow their animals to cross our borders, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending animals that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with them. They’re eating American animals. They’re rabid. And some, I assume, are good animals.”
"Don't get me wrong. I like my co-workers. They pet me, and sometimes they give me decent food off their plates. The little ones, particularly, are cute. But I could be so much more than this. I could be ruling a pack, hunting and providing, admired by my comrades, feared by my foes, and lusted after by attractive females. I could be the biggest badass in the animal kingdom."
Choosing the perfect Father’s Day tobacco product requires you to understand Dad’s personality.
“Kill 'em all," said another viewer. "Euthanize it and end the needless suffering of the actors and the audience.”
“Tiny is up to 350 pounds and is cutting down on red meat and carbs. After four heart attacks, he realizes he needs to lose some weight. Good for him. Psycho"—nickname not ironic—"is going to cut back on the meth. He is on his third set of full dentures. Killer has a traumatic brain injury and he needs to stay out of the bar fights. His doctor told him that one more bottle broken over his head could put him in a coma."
"Mission Accomplished. This has been a 24-year bloody battle against the most nefarious threat to mankind ever conceived, and finally, after countless casualties and incalculable property damage, the forces of Foo have offered their unconditional surrender."