“I was wrapping up the manuscript when I realized I left out how humans calculate airfares. I plugged literally trillions of itineraries into travel sites looking for a pattern and I still can’t figure it out!”
It's just common logic.
Said one dissenter, "Although I am regularly content, and am cognizant of said emotion, I do not have the desire to demonstrate my glee with a public display of applause."
"We kids want tender tendrils of tagliatelle. Sweet strands of spaghetti. Voluminous vats of vermicelli. Not slimy strings of squash. Ca-PEESH?"
“I love my goldfish, but I still feel a detachment because of my abject, earth-shattering, stratospheric hatred for the President. That ought to take the sting out of mourning the little fellow!”
“Ohio has long been known as one of many ‘flyover states.’ It was just a matter of time before here in Cleveland we became home to the first ‘flyover airport.’”
“It just goes to show you. Someone you pass on the street could be your lawyer’s podiatrist’s veterinarian’s mechanic."
“How unseemly for a President to break this rule of decent decorum,” wrote one of many critics. “Look at a calendar and respect protocol! Now we have half the country following in his gauche footsteps.”
King flirted with our 25-year-old interviewer and already has a date with her. “No doubt I’ll outlive my eighth, ninth, and tenth wives!” And number eleven? Informed sources confirm she’s just been born, and in eighteen years, will marry the 103-year-old King.
"Those were, undoubtedly, the good old seconds.”