By Rabies —
“Of course I showed up to do the job, but you best believe I’ll never get any overtime pay.”
“When presented out of context, these comments I made years ago unfairly make me appear to be just a garden variety bigot, and represent a watered down version of my views about the dominance of the white race.”
"The Vatican immediately entered the initial bid. In fact, the only bid. Then they insisted on bidding against themselves for the next 24 hours. After that, NAMBLA jumped in with their offer, and the prices went through the roof."
“This is an important step in untethering our organization from any ethical or other obligations we might owe the men who were sexually abused as Boy Scouts, and freeing up resources to concentrate on covering our own behinds."
The story involves someone named Carrie, who is either Allen’s work enemy, his college housemate, or maybe his cousin. Seriously, does it matter?
“To me,” says Angela, “each one of these symbolizes a milestone in our romance. Like, this one marks the day I learned Doug really needs me to work hard and earn money so he doesn’t have to live in a basement suite with five ex-felons.”
Beijing, China — China’s Xinhua News Agency apologized to readers today for printing a mistaken opinion column earlier in the week, and explained that it had rectified the matter by retracting and deleting the erroneous author. “We are most sorry to our honored public for oversights made in publishing wrong thinking material that contravened firmly … Continue reading State-Owned Chinese Newspaper Deletes Erroneous Columnist
“I’m not just a regular guy billionaire, I’m a guy who appreciates his underlings.”
“It’s all fuzzy, with hard and soft borders, and now it looks like it’s breaking into pieces.”