The country's collective feeling of shock was best summed up in a brief interview with a CNN intern who commented “I could have sworn he wasn't a day under 95.”
“It's been years since we've done anything like that, but she's been hinting at it for a couple weeks,” said a confused Nathan Moody of his wife, Whitney.
"The salisbury steak is overdone and dry, but, hey, it's hot."
"I've been trying to beat this for years, but as soon as the leaves turn the slightest shade of orange, it awakens a demon inside me I don't have the strength to fight," she sighs.
Amidst the growing number of ICE raids, migrant field workers have begun dressing in deceptive garb in hopes of eluding agents. Convervative pundits are expressing outrage, claiming it to be a sinister tactic to steal opportunities from white Americans who spend autumn weekends paying exorbitant prices to pick their own fruit with their families.
When asked to comment on his newfound popularity, Liam casually shrugged it off saying the girls probably just want him for his tooth fairy money.
If you care about your family, you will stay far away from dogs like this. The smug look on this savage's face screams "I will use my superior sense of style to steal your wife. Your kids call me daddy now."
Notice must be submitted in writing and include reason for expiration, as well as the intended date of demise.
Shanna leans in toward a customs agent. "El baggage claim?" she asks loudly, slowly enunciating each syllable.